The Mother of All Ginvention
The Mother of All Ginvention is the tenth episode of the second season of Crash Bandicoot: N-Ventures!, though it was the fourteenth episode produced. Dr. N. Gin engages in some Time-Twisting Hijinx this week, travelling back to the 1700s, with a scheme designed to undermine history's greatest inventor, as portrayed by history's 182nd greatest hip-hopsketeer. During production, this episode was also known as Pre-Inventing the Wheel and Tim's Twisted Machines. Plot Summary One day, Pinstripe Potoroo has invited Dr. N. Gin into his office for an important discussion. It seems that Cortex Power's profits have been plummeting recently, due to Pinstripe's embezzlement schemes. If Cortex finds out, he might receive a pay cut! Their only hope is for N. Gin to invent something new, to make lots of money for them. N. Gin tries to think of something to invent, but quickly realises that literally everything has been invented already. At this minute, Dr. Nefarious Tropy steps in, having heard the entire thing. He says he has a brilliant idea! Pinstripe and the Ginsters ask if it's just another lame time travel thing. Tropy says it is! Specifically, he wants to send N. Gin back in time to invent a bunch of stuff before the most famous inventor in history, Benjamin Franklin, does. Ginny thinks for a minute, then ultimately agrees, so Tropy uses his special crystal tuning fork matchstick to light N. Gin's rocket, which apparently has a fuse now. The rocket launches him high into the sky, and back into the seventeenth century! Coincidentally, he lands right on Franklin's patio. Benjamin Franklin (Special Guest Star MC Hammer) comes out to see what the commotion was. N. Gin apologises to Benjamin Franklin, but he insists on being called Ben-Jammin' Funklin instead, because he's the hippest of the founding fathers. Realising he forgot to come up with a persona ahead of time, N. Gin panics, before quickly putting on one of those three-cornered hats and lazily dubbing himself "Tim". Tim angrily bellows that, mark his words, he will invent the bifocals before Ben-Jammin' Funklin! Ben-Jammin' thanks Tim for giving him an idea for his next invention. Funklin runs inside for a second, then comes out with the newly invented bifocals (which is actually a monocle because the writers know nothing). Tim just sighs. Maybe he should be a little more secretive about the next invention he intends to steal. He decides to go to the local neighbourhood coffeeshop to read today's issue of Ye Olde Ancient American Philadelphia Island Tymes. Apparently, Great Britain Peninsula is worse than he'd ever known! He notices something else interesting in the paper, too: it's all hand-printed. That's it! Tim will invent the printing press before Ben-Jammin' Franklin ever gets the chance! The next day, Tim gathers the townspeople to unveil his latest invention: the "No More Worry, No More Stress, Strives for Perfection and Nothing Less, What Is It? Go On, Take a Guess, Nope, That's Wrong, I Must Confess, It's Actually a Shiny New Printing Press, Which Will Always Do Its Best, Printing Newspapers, and Also, Pamph-a-lets"! He explains that it's so simple, even an idiot could use it! He introduces his colleague, Ripperxander Hamil-Roo. He opens with a joke about how terrible the British are, which goes over well with the crowd. Ripperxander then starts operating the machine, and he is able to effortlessly reproduce a carbon copy of his PhD. However, the Mayor of Philadelphia, John Frenchie Waiter Adams, steps forward. Ripperxander is a fraud, he says, noting that Mr. Hamil-Roo is obviously not a genuine idiot, as he has a PhD. Tim has no choice - he has to let a real idiot take on the machine. He introduces his other colleague, the all-American Tiny Tig-Stars and Stripes Forever. Tiny also tries to open with a joke, namely, "I just flew in today, and boy, are my arms tired!" The crowd just takes it seriously, however, as no other method of flying has been invented. Tiny then gets to work printing something. He ends up causing the printing press to burst into flames, somehow. John Frenchie Waiter Adams is so disgusted with the contraption that he starts pelting Tim with berets. Tim runs off into the woods, embarrassed. His device was a miserable failure. Now he needs to think of ANOTHER invention, one that he KNOWS Funklin can't outdo him on. Tiny Tig-Stars and Stripes is still awkwardly onstage, by the burning printing press. He doesn't know what to do, so he asks himself what his idol, Cortex, would do. He realises the answer immediately, and grounds himself. The next day, in the present, Crash, Coco, Pura and Aku Aku are playing Wumpanopoly. Crash rolls a 12, and lands on Crate James Place. He buys it without hesitation. Coco is up next. She rolls a 1 and lands on the Wumpa Works, which she buys without hesitation. Pura is up next. She rolls a 42. This lands her on Crate Charles Place, which she buys without hesitation. Aku Aku is up next, but as he prepares to roll, Tim warps in, and lands on top of him, causing all his feathers to go flying everywhere! Tim apologises, and introduces himself, claiming to be Coco's old Wumpaversity roommate. Coco says she doesn't remember him, but Aku Aku suggests giving him the benefit of the doubt, in the hopes that he'll give Aku one of those cool three-cornered hats, to cover up his newfound baldness. Pura adds that she thinks Tim is sort of hot. That settles it! Crash agrees to accompany Tim back in time. Crash draws Wumpammunity Crate cards until he obtains the coveted "warp 400 years into the past, do not pass Wumpgo, do not collect 200 Wumpdollars" card, which whisks them back to ancient Philadelphia Island. Tim gathers the townspeople again, and says that this time he has an invention that will change history as we know it for sure! He introduces his latest colleague, Crashraham Lincolnicoot, who shows off his pocket Wumpavision to the crowd. Except, Tim calls it the "Vide-Oh My Goodness, This Is Incredible, Wow, So Motion Pic-Sure, I Want to Buy One, and Now" Wumpa-Powered Wumpa-Empowering Super-Safe-No-Need-For-Wumpa-Cowering Even-Safe-To-Watch-While-You're-Wumpa-Showering Pocket Video Box-O-Box-Box-Box. John Frenchie Waiter Adams bellows that he doesn't even know what a "Wumpa" is. Crashraham starts screeching at Frenchie's blaspemy, but Tim interrupts and reminds Mr. Lincolnicoot what he's here for. Crashraham turns on the Pocket Video Box-O-Box-Box-Box and shows the crowd an episode of the famous medical drama about hearing doctors, E.A.R. The crowd seems unreceptive to the overacting of series star Earge Lobeney (Kevin Michael Richardson), however. It's awful, they cried! John Frenchie Waiter Adams is so disgusted with the device that he pelts Tim and Lincolnicoot with white flags! Crashraham tries to apologise, but Tim will have none of it. Tim angrily pushes the fast-forward button on his Wumpavision, which somehow sends the Lincolnicoot back into the future, somehow. Tim is then shoved off the stage by Ben-Jammin' Funklin, who introduces the crowd to his latest invention, the printin' press. The crowd loves it, so he celebrates by performing the Printin' Press Shuffle. Tim is discouraged, but vows never to give up. The next day, in the present, Uka Uka berates Cortex, who is wearing a kilt and holding bagpipes and a sheep, for failing at some wacky scheme we didn't get to see. Suddenly, Tim warps in, and lands on top of Cortex, causing his N to go flying! Tim apologises, and introduces himself, claiming to be Dr. N. Brio's old Wumpaversity roommate. Brio confirms this, so Uka Uka doesn't even hesitate when asked if he'll help Tim out. Tropy enters and re-lights Tim's rocket. Brio and Uka grab on, and the trio blasts into the past. And Tim gathers the townspeople, again. He introduces his other two colleagues: General Washingbrio II and Uka Uka G. Harding. First, Washingbrio II drinks a potion. This one turns him into string. Tim ties one end of the string to Uka Uka G. Harding. He ties the other end to Washingbrio's house key, which he stole earlier. Holding the key, Tim flies Uka Uka like a kite in a thunderstorm. Suddenly, lightning strikes Harding, travels down Stringy Washingbrio II, and into the key. Voila! Electricity was invented! Or, as Tim calls it, his Serendipitous Soon-To-Be-Ubiquitous Not-At-All-Ridiculous For-the-Atlanticous-and-the-Pacificous Shockingly-Electricitous Electricity! Even John Frenchie Waiter Adams likes this one. Ben-Jammin' Funklin steps forward and proudly declares that Tim has finally earned his inventor's cred. He helps Tim celebrate the occasion by performing the Zippity Zappity Shuffle. Suddenly, Tim, Washingbrio II, and Uka Uka G. Harding are grabbed through a time portal by Cortex and whisked back to the present! Cortex was very angry at being temporarily separated from his N. He angrily removes Tim's hat, and everyone is shocked to discover that he was actually Dr. N. Gin all along! Because Cortie likes Ginny, he immediately laughs at the prank. That sort of silliness is okay between friends. In unrelated business, Cortex calls Pinstripe on the bananaphone to ask where all his profits are going. N. Gin is confused. He asks out loud, "Why doesn't Pinstripe have money even after I invented electricity?" Pinstripe, however, sorrowfully informs him that they're earning nothing from the inventions in the present day, because the "statue of limitations" expired on it long ago, and it has since passed into the public domain. Pinstripe is forced to come clean about his embezzlement. Cortex is so angry that he grounds Pinstripe for life! Pinstripe, sorrowfully, hangs up the bananaphone and goes to his room. Then, Uka Uka starts yelling at N. Gin for yet another failed scheme. Bill and Larry speak up, because they think Uka Uka might be being too hard on N. Gin. Uka Uka, however, threatens to deport them if they don't agree with him unquestioningly. They take his advice, changing their names to Sycophant Bill and Hammer Pants Larry. Sycophant Larry declares his undying devotion to Uka Uka, as Hammer Pants Larry backs him up with a badly animated dance routine. For some reason, Larry's dancing attracts Ben-Jammin' Funklin, who wants to dance, too. Larry and Funklin both dance, while rambling about the evils of copyright infringement.